Niet twee

If you care about yourself, and don’t sincerely care about the other, then no matter what you undertake in life, although you may have some temporary positive experience, it won’t really work out the way you wanted it. It won’t provide you with anything worthwhile in the long run.

If you care about the other, and don’t deeply care about yourself, then whatever you think or say or do might bring some short term gain, but it doesn’t produce any sense of true satisfaction or comfort beyond that.

This and that. Life is a totality. And it seems it has to be lived that way in order for there to be success that can't be lost, some sort of well-being that is untroubled by circumstances. It needs to be lived as a totality if it is to be worth the pain and anxiety that come with it.